Why the Breakdown Comes Before the Breakthrough

When real change approaches, the first thing a person feels is not excitement. It is pressure. Something most people mistake for a warning rather than an invitation.

What No One Told You About Desire: It Was Never Just Physical

A reflection on the thin line between sexual energy and the drive to create.

Why Relationships Fail: What No One Wants to Admit

There is way more that we can do instead of going through people in the hope of finding the one or chasing the ones who don’t…

Dating Isn't Shopping: Why the Search Model Keeps Failing You

Here's a question worth sitting with: are you looking for a relationship, or are you shopping for one?

You Don't Have a Love Problem. You Have an Access Problem

The image and the thing are not the same. Confusing them costs most people years.

Why Smart People Stay Stuck: The Case for Trusting the Unknown

Intelligence is good at understanding problems. It's terrible at accessing the part of you that sees the truth when your head has assembled every reason why something wouldn't work.

Love Isn't Something You Find. It's Something You Learn to Hold.

We learn love based on our history. Very few of us know what true love is. And it is okay.

Your Triggers Are Not the Problem — They're the Lesson

Most people don't want to examine their lives. They want relief from them. The learning mindset doesn't offer relief. It offers something more useful: the ability to move.

What We Owe Each Other: the Case for Emotional Liberation as a Shared Project

The men I am thinking of are not broken. They are intelligent, caring, careful humans who have drawn a single, devastating conclusion from a lifetime of evidence: that the full expression of who they are is not safe in the world.